Examine

Reach into your mind.
Take a piece and examine it. Turn it around, look at it from every angle, from near, from far, from inside and out.
Touch it.
Does it have shape and form? Does it have dimension? Texture? Colour?
Is it soft, firm, spongey, smooth, rough, liquid, clammy or dry?
What is it? Is it a concept? A thought, feeling, idea, emotion, memory, instinct, function or aspect of oneself? Is it all of those thing? Is it none of them?
Play with it.
Does it bounce? Can it stretch? Does it flow or creep or jiggle or roll?
Taste it.
Is it sweet, salty, bitter, sour or spicy?
Can you obliterate it? Would you want to? Can you make it grow, thrive and bear fruit, can you cause it to wither, and die?
Does it require maintenance?
Does it seem unique? Or like one of many?
How does it affect you?
Does it evoke emotion? Pain? Laughter? Sadness, sarcasm, affection or aggression? A combination or nothing at all?
Is it intrusive? Does it get in your way? Does it help or hinder?
Where did it come from? How did it come to be a part of you?
Was it built in from your beginning or introduced via experience?
Is it the product of joy, trauma, learning, inclusion, exclusion, pain, ecstacy, eroticism, growth or stagnation?
Open your mind to recieve this piece back. You've examined it, analysed it, hopefully understood it. Do you like it? Do you hate it? It doesn't matter, it is a part of you. All you need to do is to come to peace with it. Accept it, allow it to sink back into your mind and re-integrate itself into your conciousness and your unconciousness. Allow that accepted piece of yourself to mix and interact and evolve and...
Allow yourself to grow.

Hermit mode

I don't have a lot of friends, partially because there are not many people I get along with easily, being a bit on the eccentric side, partially because I'm an introvert, and partially coz I'm just plain fussy.
If I had too many friends, all of whom wanted to spend time with me, I wouldn't have any time left over to relax. Relaxing, for me, is being alone.
I can count my friends on one hand.
When I say friends I mean people I have a bond with, people I care about and enjoy spending time with, and who enjoy spending time with me. As opposed to aqaintances- people I see around and say hi to coz I know them but we don't actively seek each other out to spend time with, either because I'm not interested or because they don't seem interested.

Thats not to say I don't appreciate my friends. I really do. I love them all and knowing that some read this, I am writing this post specifically to attempt to communicate something which is difficult to express verbally.

Most of my friends are somewhat similar to me, and therefore understand my hermit mode because of that, or have just known me long enough that they're used to it. Although I have noticed that while they are used to it, or in some cases also have a 'hermit mode', they seem to misunderstand my reasons somewhat. Because their reasons are different.
Then there are those who havn't known me long enough or don't understand it at all, who may feel that I am avoiding them specifically or generally misunderstanding and I want to try n make this clear to all of them. I don't want people taking something personally when its not about them.
Yeah I know, how cliche... Its not you, its me.. But I'm not breaking up with y'all which is the whole point here so don't roll your eyes at me!

Anyways, I have prepared an image-assisted explanation. Please see below.
(click to view full size)

I do hope this helps :)