love...

Is true love a real thing or simply a well disguised illusion? If it is real, I don't believe I've ever experienced it.
I'm not referring to love of family or love of friends here... Those are undoubtedly real, at least for most people... I mean being 'in love'.
I think a lot of things get confused for love... Lust would of course be the most well known... That I have experienced and probably have mistaken for love... But also pity and sympathy... A strong desire to help someone, especially if it has developed over time... Empathic love, loving someone because they desire to be loved so strongly...
But thats not true love is it? is that what love is?
Love seems to be in fact a great weakness,when it is portrayed as a great strength.
Causes people to do stupid things, distracts people from important tasks and aspects of life. A chemical inbalance? An illness? Is that what 'true' love is?
Or is that lust?
How do you know what it is without having experienced it? Can you experience it without knowing? How do you know if it is real or not?
Maybe its just me... Maybe I'm not capable of true love, only all those other illusions...
Sometimes I am extremely rational, I can't even have a panic attack properly, it halts in its tracks as soon as my brain kicks in and starts rationalising it...
Yet I am very emotional... Emotions effect me strongly and even as they flood over me I analyse them...
If love is based on emotion, but I over rationalise emotion until it becomes meaningless... Perhaps that makes it impossible for me to truly love, like that.

This is what happens at 2am after hours of insomnia due to thinking too much.. I write, and this kinda shit comes out.... I don't neccesarily remember any of it when I wake...