I find it difficult to stay on track when I am writing.
If I am trying to record some particular aspect of my life, or feelings, such as trying to express ow things are at the moment,I branch off into my feelings and fears.
But that is how it has always been.
It's like I am following a path of thought, and it branches out at many places. Each time it forks I have to choose a path and follow it. Which is frustrating! I wish I could grow an extra me to follow each other path each time, so I could follow all these trails of thought without missing so much!
As I choose and follow each path, my mind continues to think about the other path for a short while, before concentrating on the path I have chosen and sometimes it looks interesting and I almost regret choosing the one I did. But its too late to turn back, as that other path fades away too quickly.
At the moment most of all of my thoughts and feelings, and therefore, my writing, is pretty much based around one basic topic, which is, of course, my current situation.. Which isn't so basic...
Even thoughts that need not have anything to do with it are shadowed, affected by this. Every thoughts has a kind of underlying 'and this relates to my situation, affects my situation, in this way'.
Which is frustrating. I'm so sick of it. Sick of thinking about it and going around in circles. Sick of feeling like I am stuck in some kind of limbo and cannot move on
If someone could read my thoughts, I'm sure they would be as utterly sick of it as I am, and I'm sure my friends who I talk to about it all are completely sick of hearing about it lol.
I must be so boring right now with my total self-involvement.
I feel so selfish in my thoughts and conversation.
And no amount of writing will eliminate it from my head, because I am too weak to remove myself totally fom the situation, despite it all, I care too much about someone elses feelings.
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