Managed to make the best of Australia day, went to the local celebrations, had a nice family day, kid went on all the rides, scared the hell out of us on one of them...
Ran into some friends, hung out with one while her kids went on rides with our kid.. Spent a lot of money... Generally had a good time.
We actually had fun together but I had moments where thoughts would bring me down, make my stomach roll... Thoughts like; "this is probably our last special family day..."
"...I wonder how much of the little affection she shows me is fake..."
".. I wonder if this friend knows whats going on..."
" Why does she want to get video of the fireworks without my voice"
"Is she intentionally avoiding contact with me while her parents are here?"
"I bet (the other woman) is jealous that I have this time with her"
"I wonder if she is wishing (the other woman) was here instead of me"
You get the idea.... Occasionally I was able to forget... I just concentrated on the friends and the kid/s.
Of course when we got home she complained that (the other woman) was cranky, ruined the end of the evening by being grumpy when they spoke before bed. I pointed out that she is probably jealous because she would know that she is with me, having fun... Not with her.
I snuck a look at the christmas card she sent her... She wouldn't show me when she got it, told me it might upset me because she talked about her feelings...
Yeah, she talked about her feelings, she also talked about how they would be together in body soon, how wonderful it would be to be able to hold each other, touch each other, for real.
Explains why the blood drained from her face when she opened it, she was probably scared that I would insist on reading it. Well now I have... It could have been worse... If I didn't know what I do know now, it probably would have bothered me more.
Oh one last thing... I now know that her mother knows more than I've been told (of course) which also explains why she has seemed different towards me.
I heard Her say to (the other woman) that her mom wanted to know if she would be going to england when (the other woman) goes back, or at a later date.
Well thats just charming isn't it... Family is in on it and all... Considering what I have been through with that family, hell, I consider them my family and I thought they felt the same way... You'd think she would encourage her to tell me the truth.
But then again... She can be a sly bitch when she wants to be. Probably enjoys being in the loop, having secrets...
I have heard how sly (the mother of HER) can be ive just never seen any damage from it. Perhaps in all she thought it wasn't her place. Perhaps even (Thou who shall not be named) told (her mother) that she HAD told you everything, and being a good mother to her daughter, she believed it. Im trying to give the benefit of the doubt. (her mother) has been there for me a lot too in the past, a lot more than most realize, however due to recent events that relationship will change, especially once she hears i no longer want to be friends with (HER)
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